Soft Heart Hard World

By Alysha Brilla




As someone who shares a lot about my life, I've found that folks will respond most quickly and emphatically to posts/photos/updates that are positive.

I suppose it's natural; we are drawn to and want to congratulate things that seem to be moving in an upward trajectory.

I just spent the last hour crying. Sobbing.

When I cry...I tend to laugh. I laugh-cry. I haven't really seen anyone else out there do it, but I know for sure they are others who do (I googled it.)

In a society that tends to ask of us the distillation of complex emotions into either happy or "chill", displaying sadness, even to ourselves, is often quite difficult.

Why was I crying? It doesn't matter. In my life, I've cried for many different reasons; some more serious than others. While I'm tempted to say "I wish I'd saved my tears for ___________", the point of this piece is to say that we should never feel as though our tears or time crying is a waste.

Congratulations...I'm human. I feel pain. I hurt. I hurt for myself. I hurt for the world. 

I feel pain and I metabolize it. Physically, emotionally, spiritually...I am a whole being.

In order to process pain, it must be felt and then released. Just like food...we take it in...we digest it and then...we release/get rid of what no longer serves us. There is an outlet. 

The thing about pain and sadness, however, is that we either hold it inside until it makes us sick/depressed or we release it through a more widely accepted emotion; anger.

Soft people in a hard world. I don't buy into the paradigm. 

I am just as much a part of this world as the hardness it's been labelled with. 

As soft as I will be with others when they need my compassion, I will absolutely be with myself. 

In addition to the obvious physiological benefits of releasing tears and emotions, the ability to forgive yourself for feeling so deeply and in fact rejoice in your sensitivity is, I think, revolutionary. 

I am still that three year old girl with the same sensitive heart beating in my chest. 

Anytime I do feel sad, I think of her and give her a hug. I tell her it's ok to feel. 

You're a soft person in a malleable world. 



5 comments

  • love this. crying is beautiful. you are beautiful too. so thankful to have found you and your music!

    Lindsay muller on

  • In April we drove up to Vancouver from Seattle to see Alysha. Looking forward to seeing you again. When will you be in BC again?

    Denny from Seattle on

  • The antidote for sadness is appreciation. Particularly here in the wealthy democratic west – we have so much to be grateful for.

    So that our sorrow, our sadness be kept in perspective
    Always mindful of our good fortune, our prosperity
    Our tears; real tears to us; mere dream drops to many
    Many millions upon millions of the impoverished, the underprivileged, the oppressed, the afflicted, the addicted.

    So that our tears be a mere trickle
    Not a sorrowful, self-pitying 3rd world river – The Amazon, The Uphratiese, The Mekong
    Our tears so easily wiped away with tissues of wealth and prosperity

    So that our tears be few and far between.
    Brief as a sun shower,
    Sorrow replaced by the hopeful, grateful, rejuvenating warmth of the sun
    Its rays drying, transforming our tear drops into dream drops of future fun

    So that our tears; those salty drops of sorrow
    May they be quickly replaced by a salty after taste
    Tender lips on wet cheeks, the bliss of a wealthy westerners kiss
    A bliss that we often take for granted,
    A bliss, sadly so often unappreciated, so often overlooked, so often missed.

    Hot Tub Mobile Nils on

  • Alysha, this is really beautiful. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I loved your analogy on metabolizing pain. I often think of it in a similar way, a flower taking in the sun and rain and then growing. Lots of love to you! <3

    Elsa on

  • Thank You for Your fearless expression. And for Truth. :)

    vonDehn Visuals on

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published