Soft Heart Hard World

By Alysha Brilla

As someone who shares a lot about my life, I've found that folks will respond most quickly and emphatically to posts/photos/updates that are positive.

I suppose it's natural; we are drawn to and want to congratulate things that seem to be moving in an upward trajectory.

I just spent the last hour crying. Sobbing.

When I cry...I tend to laugh. I laugh-cry. I haven't really seen anyone else out there do it, but I know for sure they are others who do (I googled it.)

In a society that tends to ask of us the distillation of complex emotions into either happy or "chill", displaying sadness, even to ourselves, is often quite difficult.

Why was I crying? It doesn't matter. In my life, I've cried for many different reasons; some more serious than others. While I'm tempted to say "I wish I'd saved my tears for ___________", the point of this piece is to say that we should never feel as though our tears or time crying is a waste.

Congratulations...I'm human. I feel pain. I hurt. I hurt for myself. I hurt for the world. 

I feel pain and I metabolize it. Physically, emotionally, spiritually...I am a whole being.

In order to process pain, it must be felt and then released. Just like food...we take it in...we digest it and then...we release/get rid of what no longer serves us. There is an outlet. 

The thing about pain and sadness, however, is that we either hold it inside until it makes us sick/depressed or we release it through a more widely accepted emotion; anger.

Soft people in a hard world. I don't buy into the paradigm. 

I am just as much a part of this world as the hardness it's been labelled with. 

As soft as I will be with others when they need my compassion, I will absolutely be with myself. 

In addition to the obvious physiological benefits of releasing tears and emotions, the ability to forgive yourself for feeling so deeply and in fact rejoice in your sensitivity is, I think, revolutionary. 

I am still that three year old girl with the same sensitive heart beating in my chest. 

Anytime I do feel sad, I think of her and give her a hug. I tell her it's ok to feel. 

You're a soft person in a malleable world. 


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